Did you have a crush on someone who didn’t like you back or did you discover that your boyfriend didn’t care about you the way you cared about him? While romantic rejection is common, it can be a painful and difficult experience to get over. To speed up your recovery, you can take steps to change your perspective and move forward. You can also make simple lifestyle changes to feel better, and turn to the people around you for support.
Address the situation head on. Regardless of how involved you were with the guy who doesn’t care about you, you have to acknowledge your feelings and address the situation. Denying you cared about the person or were interested in him won’t help you move on.
- Don’t pretend that it didn’t happen or act like you are unfazed by the situation. To effectively get over someone, according to psychologists, you need to recognize and admit what you are dealing with. Regardless of how serious your relationship with the guy was, this is an important step in the grieving process.
- Confide in a trusted friend or write your feelings down in a private place such as a diary or journal.
2. Don’t blame yourself. When you find out that a guy doesn’t care about you the way you care about him, it can be easy to look at yourself and find fault. Blaming yourself, however, is not the way to move forward, and it will only make you feel worse.
- Instead of feeling like there is something wrong with you that you could have or should have fixed, push these negative thoughts aside. Reassert your control by dismissing the person who doesn’t care about you. You don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want you, and if they don’t want you it is not your problem. A successful relationship is based on mutual affection, and when the other person doesn’t feel that way the relationship is not worth your time and energy.
- It can be helpful to use affirmations to remind yourself that you are not to blame. Self-affirmations can seem silly at first, but they will help you feel better about yourself and less responsible for other people’s perceptions.
3. Embrace your independence. While it’s hard to get over a guy who doesn’t care about you, it can be easier when you embrace your independence. Remind yourself that you do not need other people to make you happy.
- Even if you do not feel particularly independent at the time or are not excited to be alone, telling yourself that you will embrace your independence will help you feel better.
- Take note of all the things you do on your own, and the many ways in which you are independent. For example, are you financially independent? In what ways do you take responsibility for your own happiness?
4. Make a list of your attributes and strengths. You might not feel very amazing or strong when you are trying to get over a guy who doesn’t care about you, but take the time to make a list of your attributes and strengths. This will help you feel more confident, attractive, powerful and able to move forward.
- Feeling rejected can lower your self esteem, and this exercise is designed to help you remember what a catch you are.
- Think about specific challenges you’ve gone through, or events and circumstances that tested your strength. You’ve probably gone through more than you realize, and you can do it again to get over a guy who doesn’t care about you.
- Sometimes it can be helpful to ask a good friend for their input. We sometimes have a hard time recognizing positives in ourselves. Remember, what you identify as a weakness, might be seen by other people as a strength.
5. Don’t be impatient. Although you may feel frustrated that it’s taking time to get over someone, avoid being hard on yourself. Demanding that you move on quickly can make you feel worse and like you are under even greater pressure.
- Even if you were not in an official relationship, you have lost someone who you thought was important to you. As a result, you need to give yourself time to recover without feeling like you should be making more progress.
6. Acknowledge your progress. An important part of getting over someone who doesn’t care about you is acknowledging any progress you make, however small it may seem. Each day, think about something you’ve done to move forward.
- It can be helpful to make a list of your progress in a diary or journal. Even if you have days that are harder than others, you will be able to look back and observe how great you are doing and see that things are getting better.
- Record even simple things that you’ve done. For example, did you find it easier to go out with friends and think about other topics? Did you visit a place without thinking of the guy you are trying to get over? Did you meet someone or see someone you thought was attractive?
7. Be hopeful that things will get better. Although it might not feel like it right now, you need to tell yourself that things will get better and you will get over the person who doesn’t care about you. Allowing yourself to feel hopeful about the future is essential to your recovery.
- For example, think about how getting over this person will allow you to meet someone who will care about you the way you deserve. Imagine what it will feel like to not be sad or unhappy. It’s okay to indulge in fantasies and daydreams about the future if it helps you feel more optimistic.
- Give yourself credit for the progress you are making, and take notes each day in a diary or journal about the positive steps you are making. For example, did you make it through the day thinking less about the guy who rejected you? Were you able to make a new friend or acquaintance? Even if you have tough days, you can look back and observe all your progress.
- Make time for yourself and learn to enjoy alone time. Schedule time each day to have a cup of tea, read a book, take a bath, or do something that you like to do. You will feel more independent and stronger.
- If you travel in the same circles as the guy who rejected you, it can be helpful to give yourself some space. Visit new places, make new friends, and get some distance.
- Love yourself first and then you’ll discover that love is all you need to be free.
- Avoid self-destructive behaviors such as drugs, drinking, and casual sex. These are not effective ways to get over someone, and they can cause more problems.
- If you are depressed and thinking about hurting yourself, seek help as soon as possible so you can feel better.